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This section is composed entirely of contributions from real people who enjoy the DWC lifstyle. There is absolutely no fiction of any kind in here and all entries are included with the permission of the writers. Names and locations are changed for privacy.

Copyright 2003 The Disciplinary Wives Club, All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Hear what these real people have to say.
Browse them all, or click on them one-by-one.



We are still novices in the field of domestic discipline, and most of what we first learned was from Kay’s website and her writings.

The thought of meeting with Kay and Jerry was something beyond our normal experience. In retrospect, meeting another man who is spanked is also interesting, as to what he thinks about the situation. We were made aware in the conversation about how their spanking relationship started, but I do not feel at liberty to discuss this without Kay and Jerry’s approval.

We arranged to have dinner at a neutral meeting ground, a restaurant within the vicinity of where they live. We had not exchanged pictures, because everyone’s privacy is very important. 
Although Kay knew our personal address from my purchase orders and writing to her from my normal email, we still didn't know each other. So with some trepidation of how the evening would unfold, we went to dinner. 

We arrived early, and waited outside the restaurant. I was dressed as I had stated in my email, and basically we looked inquisitively as people walked up and entered the restaurant.
After a short while, Kay’s partner said hello, you must be “MIKE’, and we introduced each other. They had parked in the lot and entered the restaurant as most people did from the parking lot.

Being very nervous, I must confess that I somewhat dominated the conversation, hopefully not badly or impolitely. My explanation is that I simply wanted to assure Kay and her partner that we were ‘real people’, who also had an interest in the DWC lifestyle. Jerry and I had a glass of wine, and the dinner progressed. We talked about Lynn and our family, but I did not ask any questions about their family. Kay explained that they have met many people in the lifestyle, and that it is always a little awkward the first time.

Some people they have met were simply too far in the extreme to fit into the DWC lifestyle approach. Some have been met at parties, and some people in the California spanking scene now know who she is. From reading Dana Specht’s website, I was aware that Kay has been a guest of honor at a retreat on the west coast, but we are too shy to consider attending them.

Very little mention of the lifestyle occurred during the dinner, as other people were near-by in the restaurant, and you never know when a waiter might pop-up. Kay did very directly look me in the eye and ask me at one time if I had been behaving myself properly during our vacation, and I
responded generally yes, but being male, I have not been prefect. No further mention was made on the topic, and the dinner went smoothly.

Both Lynn and I found it awkward, not really getting to know Kay and Jerry, being reluctant to ask about their jobs or family. Before we were offered coffee, Kay invited us to come back to their house for coffee and dessert, where we could talk more openly. Lynn and I both looked at each
other and nodded, before agreeing to this very generous offer.

Kay and Jerry live in a very beautiful house, which we arrived at after following them in our car. Where they live is obviously not a topic I would ever discuss anywhere, and practically, I doubt if I could ever find it again.

Dessert at Kay’s house was delicious, as we talked about the DWC lifestyle. Kay explained how she first got started spanking Jerry. She later explained that she started the DWC website to help others become knowledgeable and confident in applying the principles, and the spankings,
of a DWC lifestyle.

Kay then proceeded to take out her goody bag of spanking implements, and she lead a discussion of how these are effectively used.

Prior to ever asking, let alone arranging a meeting with Kay and Jerry, Lynn had reasonably asked why I would like to meet her. My only response was that maybe we could obtain more information from actually talking with Kay, and seeing that a real live person actually professed and possibly lived these opinions. We would see that Kay actually existed, and that this was not simply a website trying to sucker in spanking enthusiasts for profit.

After agreeing that we would meet Kay, I ventured the question: would Lynn allow Kay to spank me if she saw fit. This was and still is dangerous ground. I did not want Lynn to feel inferior or inadequate in her spanking me, because Lynn is darned good at spanking me. Yet at the same time I was hoping Lynn would see that she could more fully release her feelings and emotions when spanking me. Lynn spanks very effectively, but lets up when the spanking has me yowling or kicking my feet. I love Lynn, but being spanked by another woman is a huge step. My only explanation is that I have always wondered what a “BAD BOY SPANKING” from Kay would be like, ever since seeing her website. Maybe it would prove to be the same as Lynn’s spankings,
or maybe we both would learn a little more about spankings. Lynn and I have never seen another person being spanked, except on video, which in my opinion is staged, and thus artificial. I desired to experience a “BAD BOY SPANKING”, yet dreaded it at the same time.

After discussion for a few days, Lynn agreed that we should meet Aunt Kay if possible, and that if I wanted to be spanked, she would watch it done. (This was assuming Kay would in any way want to demonstrate a spanking on me, and that we would feel compatible enough, and that Kay was a sensible caring person.)

Kay asked Lynn and I if we were willing that she demonstrate how to effectively use some of these implements on me. When we responded yes, Jerry was excused from the room.

I had worn silk underwear (not jockey style), in case of this eventuality. Kay had me stand by the couch, lower my pants only to the floor, and bend at the waist, supporting myself with my hands (arms straight). [Thus, my upper body was at a right angle, with my bottom sticking outwards.]

I have no recollection of how many spanking tools were demonstrated, however, the number might be as many as eight or nine implements. This was to be a participatory spanking. Kay would first explain the effectiveness of an implement, and then demonstrate how to use it on my bottom. Lynn would then get to try it out on my bottom also, before we moved on to another

I do remember that the Ferule and the Dominator from Kay’s website were used, besides a lexan paddle, and a cane. While standing relaxed by my side, Kay applied with the snap of the wrist and speed of the arm a significantly strong six spanks with each implement. The spanks were given rapid fire, such that my knees would buckle a little with some implements. Kay stopped
immediately whenever my knees buckled a little. However, after a little more explanation of how to use the implement, it was Lynn’s turn to repeat the spanking so that Lynn would have a feel for using the implement.

Kay constantly monitored my condition, repeatedly asking if I was okay, before proceeding to the next implement. Kay stopped immediately whenever a knee started to buckle, showing that I was receiving the message. In addition, if an implement did not seem to be effective when Kay used it, a second set of six was given after a few words, until Kay saw the intended reaction on my part.

I found the four items mentioned (ferule, dominator, lexan paddle, and cane) to be significantly attention getting, and effective.

Special attention was given on how to use the cane, with both the arm movement and the aim. Lynn then applied the cane timidly, so Kay demonstrated again how to use it with snap and for maximum effect. Lynn next efforts were very effective. Kay's summary review using the cane one extra time with a flourish was definitely attention getting.

After the cane, the spanking was ended. My thoughts were confused, but my bottom was a very bright red and certainly felt well spanked.

Kay left Lynn and I alone for a few moments, and then she and Jerry rejoined us. A little more discussion ensued, and we departed promising to get together sometime in the future. We thanked Kay for her kind attention and instruction. Jerry very graciously drove ahead of us, to help us get back to a highway that we knew, so that we could return to our hotel in San
Francisco. Lynn and I did not really talk about the evening, being somewhat overwhelmed by the experience. We both did say how kind and friendly Kay and Jerry were with us. They will become friends.

I wrote to Kay when we returned to Vancouver as follows:

“We thank you for the personal guidance that you gave to us. Lynn is learning to be more assertive, and I am certain she has learned that she can spank as hard as she wants as long as she wants, after your personal attention with so many different implements.

I am uncertain if you would call what was demonstrated a bad boy spanking, because you showed great concern that I was alright as you moved from one implement to another. In addition, as you used several implements, you showed how to use them, but stopped whenever I started to show that I was receiving the message. My interpretation of your guidelines is that these spanks were the beginning part of a spanking to get the person's attention, before you continue with the second set of four, followed by forty to fifty non-stop hard spanks. I imagine that a bad boy spanking would have been much more significant. My trepidation when you gave the opening of how my behavior had been was regrettable. Personally, I think both Lynn and I would have benefited from a simple bad boy spanking. Please realize that our paths may or may not ever cross again, and if given the opportunity, I probably will meekly say that it is not needed, when I really meant to say "YES, IT IS NEEDED!!!"

Whether any future meeting involves spanking, we would be pleased to meet again whenever the opportunity prevails.

Lastly, please thank Jerry once again for so graciously showing the way for us to drive home. And you do have a most beautiful home, and the location is absolutely fabulous.)

Hope both you and Jerry are healthy and happy.

Bottoms Up,

Mike and Lynn

The Tornado

We have been in the DWC lifestyle for nearly four years.  Like most couples we have had our ups and downs but overall, we felt these four years had been our best in a marriage of over 30 years.  However, this is a story depicting what we recently went through. 

David always felt that he knew what the lifestyle should be like and how his wife should be involved.  It was coming up to his birthday and he knew that there was to be a celebratory spanking or rather that is what he thought should happen!.  Although there were many opportunities in the weekend, for some reason Christine decided not to take advantage of them at this time.  This had been a pattern that had existed throughout their time in the lifestyle and it often seemed that David would try and pressure Christine into taking action as a DW wife.  Christine, on the other hand had her own views and she had always been concerned about the marks on David’s bottom that resulted from a discipline session, even though his improved behavior and attitudes were welcomed.

So one day, probably for a number of reasons David started to ferment about the situation and his perception that Christine was not really committed to the lifestyle or at least to what he thought that meant.  He tossed and turned for most of the night getting more and more angry and upset over the situation. Why he got so upset is not easy to tell but a number of other pressures may have combined to fuel the situation.  In the morning he could not contain his feelings any longer and the tornado exploded through the bedroom.  He ranted and raved about what had been agreed and yet never delivered.  He even gave an ultimatum that their DWC lifestyle had been suspended and would not resume unless Christine gave cast iron guarantees of her commitment.  Now while David is your extrovert, quick mouth talker, Christine is a much quieter, deep thinking person who does not like confrontation and so when confronted with this onslaught she naturally climbed into her shell.  This made David even more frustrated and the tornado seem to build even more.

Many things were said and both seemed to be hurting each other.  Where was this going and how would it end?  Good question and Christine later commented that she was very close to the view that the marriage had no future.

After a few days of tension and negative attitudes, David made the suggestion that Christine might try and solve her problems by calling Aunt Kay. It never seemed to occur to him that this might be his problem and that he should seek help!  Anyway Christine was desperate to find a way forward and agreed to ring Aunt Kay.  Of course AK has a way of putting her finger on the problem and it has to be suspected that  if she had been living closer it might have been rather more than her finger!  She assured Christine that her feelings were very common amongst DWC wives and that most, if not all, the problem lay with David. She listened to all that Christine had to say and reassured her.  Aunt Kay then offered a lot of guidance and suggestions.

Christine came off the phone after talking to AK and she looked a different person.  She was confident and standing tall and she told David that AK wanted him to speak to her husband, Jerry.  Fortunately David had met Jerry at a previous time and so they were able to talk easily about the problems.  Jerry explained to David about the different ways that men and women understand and think about the DWC.  In particular many men, including David, had their fantasies as to how the DWC lifestyle should be lived.  In reality it was usually very different and women in DWC lifestyles usually had a different level of commitment and need which did not always meet their husband’s wishes.

Jerry used a very good analogy of how the DWC lifestyle could be viewed.  A lot of men have the view that it was like building a house which after it is built it is all in place and needs to be lived in.  The DW lifestyle is not a one of event but an ongoing, and never finished, event.  He likened it to a farm where the work is never finished and you have to work hard to constantly maintain, improve and keep it producing good results.

Thankfully, David has now realized that his way of thinking had got taken over by too much fantasy and this was not very helpful.  He has now accepted that Christine is his DWC wife and that she must be treated with the respect befitting a woman who is prepared to embrace the lifestyle.  David has apologized to Christine and she is prepared to give their relationship another chance.  AK has given them an exercise to work out what they want from their DW relationship and to prioritize their needs.  Out of this they have now developed a series of contracts to cover those areas of David’s behavior and attitudes that need to change and improve.  Christine has agreed to enforce these contracts and David has now felt her vigorous enforcement a number of times.

Christine now realizes the importance of keeping up the DWC activity in order to keep David in line and behaving well, but David also has to realize that just because he thinks that certain things should happen at certain times, it doesn't mean that they will.  He should not be applying pressure to Christine to discipline and spank when he thinks it should happen.  However, if he feels that he needs bringing back into line, then AK says that he can mention this need and then he must leave it at that and let Christine decide if and when a spanking should take place.

Once again we have to say a big thank you to Aunt Kay and the DWC lifestyle for giving our marriage another chance.

Dear Aunt Kay,

My wife is most definitely a Disciplinary Wife, but in a different way from that of some of the other wives described here.  I recognize, as she originally pointed out to me, that the vast majority of men are in need of a woman's guidance to overcome certain bad tendencies that they seem to be born with.  I had to agree that I have many of them myself, including tendencies to be unreliable, inconsiderate, rude, careless with the truth, messy, grumpy, surly - I'm sure you could add to the list with other faults that no wife should have to tolerate.

I agree that a wife has the right, even the duty, to punish such behavior, but honestly I think that some of the wives here are doing far more than that. They are dominating every aspect of life, and treating their men as servants.  My wife doesn't do that. She merely punishes bad behavior and encourages good behavior.
She is quite firm and strict in that regard, and once she decides to punish there is no use trying to talk her out of it.  She uses  tried and true old fashioned spankings - over her lap and with the bottom bare - and is surprisingly severe for a woman who is ordinarily so sweet and kind.  She also believes in face-slapping, several slaps to each cheek, if she thinks my attitude warrants it and especially if I don't get my pants off and go over her lap immediately when ordered.

But on most family matters we discuss things and I have an equal say, and in some areas where I have the expertise she yields to my opinion.  Granted, she does have an edge in these discussions, in that she always has the right to slap and spank if she thinks I'm being obdurate. 

All in all, I think our arrangement works very well, and I'm a better man for it. 


A DWC Visit

Dear Readers of the DWC,

My partner Deirdre and I recently visited the SF bay area for a few weeks.  Since we are a DWC couple, I suggested that we write to Aunt Kay about the possibility of meeting while Deirdre and I were in town. Deirdre agreed that this would be a fun idea.  But before I get to the tale of our meeting with Aunt Kay, I will provide a little history about us as a couple.

As in most (all?) DWC couples, I was the instigator of the idea of a female-led household, with spanking as a disciplinary motivation for the male.  Like most of the readers here, this idea has excited me since as early as I can remember, certainly as far back as my teenage years in the 1970s.  However, my first marriage was not successful in this regard.  It took me a while in this marriage to realize how important a female-dominant life was to be.  
Eventually I figured myself out, and told my ex-wife about my desire for her to lead our relationship.  (Does this sound familiar?  I bet it does for many of you reading this.)  She tried this style of relationship for a short while, but she was very uncomfortable with spanking me, and so, to make a long story short, she left me.  This was a devastating time for me in my life, but it turned out to be all for the better in the end, years later.  After my ex-wife and I split up, I dated several women, in a serial monogamous manner.  In my search for a new partner, I made it clear that I was looking for a female-led relationship in which the woman would dictate what she liked, and she was free to punish the male for transgressions as she saw fit.  I found that this was highly satisfactory, even desirable, to many omen.  Very few women that I dated were put off by this suggestion.  But of course, this is only one factor in making a relationship work.  Consequently, it took me several years to find the right woman with the right chemistry.

I met Deirdre at work several years ago, but she was in a relationship at the time, and so was I.  After a few years, we both independently ended up leaving our partners at the time, and we then eventually got together as a couple.  We have been extremely happy ever since.  At 31, Deirdre is quite a bit younger than me, but she is very much in command of our relationship, and she wouldn't have it any other way. When I first explained to Deirdre that I would like a female-led relationship, she was skeptical.  She understood my excitement at the idea of being spanked (power games were exciting for her), but she hadn't yet met an alpha-male who seemed to want to put his woman first, and have her organize their lives in such a complete way. Despite her skepticism, she agreed to try the lifestyle for a while. Initially we thought that the dominance aspect of our relationship would be a part-time thing, but after experimenting with it for a few months, we settled into a 24/7 female-dominant relationship.  Once she tried it, she was hooked.  She loves having total control in the relationship.

A recent exciting development in our spanking relationship came in the past year, with the purchase of a spanking bench.  Because I am much stronger than Deirdre (I am 6'3", 200 lbs; she is 5'5", 120 lbs), it was difficult to submit to Deirdre completely when she spanked hard with a hard implement.  If she smacked hard enough for long enough, I would struggle, and get a break.  I wanted to submit to her will, but practically, it was hard to do so, because I am physically too strong, and my will was not strong enough yet to stay when I am told to.  We both decided that the spankings could be more effective if she had total control over me.  I suggested that securing me to a spanking bench would give her true control.  She agreed.  So we purchased such a bench last summer, and it has been an excellent addition to our spanking life.  Up until then, I had only fantasized about losing complete control in a spanking session.  Now it was made real.  When we first got the bench, Deirdre secured me to it, made sure that I couldn't get free, and then told me of her plans to give me a spanking I would remember.  She first spanked me with Aunt Kay's "holy terror" wooden paddle for a minute without stopping, very hard.  It's amazing how much that hurts, especially with no warm-up!  I complained loudly and yelled to her to stop, but she scolded me more firmly, and laid in harder, until the time was up, then two more minutes.  Then two more sets of two minutes!  My bottom and thighs were red and well bruised by the end.  She had me crying during the each two-minute session, which was an experience that I can hardly describe.  It was exhausting and exhilarating.  It was everything that I had hoped for:  a spanking that drained all my attention, so I could do nothing but feel it and let go.  We have only had a few such sessions in the past year.  They exhaust me greatly.  I will do anything to avoid them at this point.  Deirdre seems very pleased to have this control over me.  She is a natural dominant.  Furthermore, she really loves to punish me, either for transgressions, or more often now, in order to exercise her dominance in the relationship.  We are a great match: I thrive on her dominance and love, and she loves it this way too.

As I mentioned at the start of this letter, Deirdre and I visited the SF bay area for a few weeks this past summer.  I suggested that we contact Aunt Kay and Jerry, and Deirdre enthusiastically agreed.  We were both keen to meet another DWC couple like ourselves.  We are not shy people, but we don't advertise our private life to others.  Because this is not a common lifestyle (yet?), we simply don't think that we know any DWC type couples.  So we thought it would be fun to meet Aunt Kay, who has been so great about helping others get started in this kind of lifestyle, with no guilt about enjoying it.  I first wrote to Aunt Kay in late June, and she wrote back right away, saying yes, they would be happy to meet us when we come out to visit.  Aunt Kay also asked to hear from Deirdre.  Deirdre then wrote to Aunt Kay, and the two exchanged some emails.  When Deirdre and I arrived in CA, we arranged a dinner date with Aunt Kay and Jerry at a nice local place. The four of us had a great time at dinner.  We told them our relationship story, and they told us theirs.  As others have noted, Aunt Kay and Jerry are just a normal happy couple, who happen to enjoy some female-dominant spanking.  We are the same.  No one would ever suspect that the four of us were chatting for much of the evening about the men getting spanked.  At the end of the evening, we said good night, and tentatively planned to get together again, in another week.  The following week, we met at a second fine restaurant (good choices, Aunt Kay and Jerry!), and had another relaxing dinner, talking about our lives, both the DWC aspects and the more mundane. At the end of the meal, Aunt Kay and Jerry suggested that we come back to their place, so that Aunt Kay could show Deirdre some spanking techniques (on my bottom!).  I was nervous about this idea, because I find spanking to be very personal: it's between Deirdre and me.  But I was also happy to do this, because Deirdre and I really liked Aunt Kay and Jerry, and this seemed like a good way for us to bond with another similar couple.  So, since Deirdre wanted to do this, I nervously agreed.  (I suspect that if she didn't want to go, I would have been a little disappointed.  But I didn't have to deal with this kind of disappointment: Deirdre wanted to learn whatever tricks she could to keep me in line. Deirdre is a great partner!)  We headed up to Kay & Jerry's place, and sat down in their living room when we got there. (By the way: their place is in a spectacular location, way up in the hills, as noted in an earlier letter to Aunt Kay.)  Aunt Kay brought out a large collection of implements, and Deirdre's eyes lit up.  What fun she was going to have!  Aunt Kay told us the history of many of the implements, and after a little while, asked Jerry to retire to the bedroom, so that she and Deidre could get started on my bottom.

What followed was an intense session of spanking that left me bruised for two weeks!  They started with a "double-lap" spanking, such that the two ladies linked legs while seated across from one another on straight-backed chairs.  Aunt Kay asked me to take down my trousers, and I did so, reluctantly.  I was shy about exposing myself in front of our new friend, even if she was queen of the disciplinary wives. Deirdre assured me that it was ok, but I still resisted.  They eventually got me to lie across their laps with my underwear still on, but once there, they pulled down my shorts to expose my bottom, bare. Once bare, they set about the business of spanking me with a hard wooden paddle or hairbrush each.  This spanking hurt a great deal! The spanks came rapid fire, twice as fast as I was used to.  I kept reaching around to stop them, because they didn't give me any breaks. I was complaining vigorously after a few minutes, but they kept on smacking away, all the while laughing at my predicament and commenting on the effectiveness of various implements.  After maybe five minutes (maybe less: it may have just seemed like five minutes), they let me up, and I rested for a minute, rubbing my bottom.  Soon, they put me over the arm of a sofa, with a pillow under my crotch to prop my bottom up higher in the air.  The two of them took positions on each side of me, and then proceeded to try every implement that Aunt Kay had.  Deirdre especially liked a paddle (I am not sure what to call it), with holes in it.  Apparently, it was easy to hold, and I reacted strongly after little effort from her.   A second implement that Deirdre really liked was a riding crop.  This was also easy to use, and she could get rapid hard strokes with it that made me cry out.  They also liked the wooden paddles, and, of course, the cane, a thick plastic cane with the appropriate name "hollering' hollow" (available on the DWC website...).  Aunt Kay seemed to like to use this one the most.  I yelped at most of her 30 or more stripes with that cane.  We happen to own a hollerin' hollow cane, so I already knew what this felt like, but I have to say that Aunt Kay really knows how to use it.  She has an excellent wrist technique that leaves very nasty welts.  She was happily explaining to Deirdre how to do this just right.  Deirdre is a quick learner, and so she picked this up pretty fast.  Anyway, after a long, long time over the sofa arm, the spanking was finally over.  It probably took between 15 and 30 minutes.  Aunt Kay then put out a fan, where I was permitted to stand in order to cool my bottom.  This was probably the longest spanking that I had ever had.  As I mentioned above, it left me bruised for two weeks.  Aunt Kay and Deirdre laughed about how easy this was for Deirdre, and how much fun we would have with her new techniques in the coming years.  I winced, and agreed, laughing nervously as well. I was glad to finally have this spanking over with

Aunt Kay then went to get Jerry, and the four of us sat for a few minutes (me somewhat uncomfortably), and chatted happily about the evening's events.  It was getting late now, and so Deirdre and I said our good-byes, and headed down the hill, back to our place.  It was a great evening.  We were very happy to have met such a nice couple in Aunt Kay and Jerry.  In my opinion, they have done a great deal toward making the DWC lifestyle a normal, happy, lifestyle for a couple. This is such a happy, healthy way to live for me and Deirdre.  I am sure that this is the case for many other couples.  We look forward to seeing Aunt Kay & Jerry again in the near future.  And we hope to meet some of their friends too.  Towards that end, we live in the Boston, MA, area.  If any people out there want to talk DWC talk, we would be happy to communicate with you.  We also travel a bit, so we might be coming your way sometime soon, if you want to get together.  My name's Evan, by the way.  Drop me and Deirdre a line at if you want to talk or perhaps even meet.  All the best to Aunt Kay and Jerry.  They are wonderful people.  Keep making people happy.  Aunt Kay and Jerry you are doing a great job.


Dear Aunt Kay:

This is a little addendum to Evan's note about his and my relationship, and our visit with you and Jerry recently.

 Evan wrote that letter because I asked him too.    He did a good job, in my opinion: his account of our life is accurate.   As he said, I do enjoy spanking him. When we first started this aspect of our relationship, he was teaching me.   Now he's got what he wanted.   But as he suspected, it's more than he can handle at times.   But that's good for both of us.   I have real control of a happy, wonderful man, and he gets his fantasy life.   He is a sweetheart to me: he will do anything for me.   So of course I am happy to discipline him to keep him happy.   We are happier than either of us could have imagined.  

Aunt Kay and Jerry are very sweet people.    Evan and I had a great time with them on the two evenings we spent with them.   And I had a fun time with Aunt Kay learning control of various implements on Evan's bottom.   Despite Evan's protests at the time, I know he enjoyed it too.

Good luck to all of you in finding a happy relationship, within whatever framework makes you and your partner happy.


Dear Aunt Kay,

Though I am in the UK, I wanted to wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving.

You, through your website and more, have given a tremendous number of men and women a place to touch a really intimate place within ourselves and I know that I can safely say that your books and videos have changed my life for the better.

I look forward to reading the survey when it is completed. Thank you for doing this. If we are ever able to be in the Bay area for an extended period, we'd like to be able to thank you personally for showing us the road to domestic happiness and balance.


George K.

Dear Aunt Kay,

My wife and I found your web site and thought it was very interesting. I am 57 and my wife is 55. I just recently retired while my wife is still working. We felt it was a natural fit for her to be totally in charge because of that so we agreed to try the lifestyle you subscribe to. I have a list of household chores I must do everyday. They include washing the dishes, scrubbing the floors, doing the laundry, making the bed etc.

I receive a maintenance spanking every Monday night. My wife has a paddle, she sits on the couch and orders me to pull my pants and underpants done. I am then placed across her lap. She proceeds in giving me the 4, 4 and 8 warm up spanking before she gives me 40 very hard spanks. I must then thank her for the discipline.

I received my first disciplinary spanking this morning. We were out last night and my wife told me I couldn't have more than two drinks. Well I got stupid and had about five drinks which made me a little drunk and she had to drive us home. This morning she told me I was going to be spanked for disobeying her the night before. She put me across her lap and proceeded in giving me 60 hard spanks with the paddle. She then made me bend over a kitchen chair and gave me 60 more very hard spanks with a long handled bath brush. I have a few cuts on my butt from that spanking and it hurt like heck.

She informed me that I will still receive my weekly maintenance spanking tomorrow night. I know it is going to hurt more than usual because my butt is sore from this morning's spanking.

Even with the spankings I still love my new lifestyle. My wife and I have been enjoying our sex life even more than ever. I love her very much for taking control and I enjoy it when she gives me orders in front of other people.

Thank you so much for the web site. It has certainly made our marriage stronger then at any other time during our 35+ years.


Dear Aunt K.

You may have heard this before. After a couple years of off and on (sickness, travel, etc,) my wife said we need to get strict again. Before she was good at discipline- now she is really in charge. If a man desires this he (in my experience) must do exactly as you say-mostly show her it works. If this is done she will gain confidence and be gratified at not being frustrated with all the silly things men are prone to and she will be more loving, relaxed and confident.

Any man who does not want this is living a tough life. Another thing I've noticed. Because I have been better at things- so has she. She is not as overloaded and fatigued and so she has time for her hobbies and projects that I complained were cluttering our storage. The real manly stupidity is why we need disciplining to see these advantages. If you ever do another survey, perhaps you could explore the marriage satisfaction. To some extent this is already in your real people and guest emails.

PS thank you for the discreet nature of your site. 

More in love than ever

I enjoy your website immensely; I’ve read every word.  It is no exaggeration to say it’s played a big role in changing my life and, especially, changing our marriage.  I’ve been into spanking my entire life, Aunt Kay.   I actually engineered spanking games with other children when I was as young as five.  I’m sure there had to be a sexual component even then, although that boggles the mind and is beyond my intellectual comprehension.  As a young teenager, masturbating usually was performed to the tune of spanking fantasies.   My wife, whom I treasure, has role-played spanking fantasies with me our entire married life.  I have this “nine-year-old” persona who needs to be disciplined by Mommy; the more embarrassing, the more erotic.  There are many scenes we do, other things besides spanking, but the main focus always includes a good hard bare-bottom spanking.   These spankings, given with hairbrushes, paddles, and the bath-brush, are exceedingly painful; and yet…highly erotic.  The level of pleasure defies the imagination, especially considering the level of pain I’m forced to endure.  I think it could be best described as “being in a zone,” the same way athletes often describe their concentration-to-level-of-performance ratio.  These spankings a re trips to such dizzying heights of pleasure, pure joy.  I’ve always had powerful fantasies about being spanked in front of another woman (or by another woman), but that has never happened and I doubt it ever will.  Actually, despite the power of the fantasy, even I’m not sure it would be a positive. 
About eight months ago, when I first came across the Disciplinary Wives Club website, I was emotionally captured, you might say.  I shared the site with my wife and we discussed the possibilities of incorporating this lifestyle into our marriage; on our own terms, of course.  We have done so and the results are beyond Incredible.  We took a good marriage—albeit one with far too much anger and conflict, on both our parts—and created a marriage most people only dream about.  My wife has absolute control now and I obey her every directive.  When I’m “bad,” she sends me upstairs to get ready for a whipping with one or more of her many canes.  She has a collection worthy of her disciplinary talents.  Getting “ready” means masturbating first to get rid of the sexual/pleasure component (something we learned from one of the many letters sent in to the Disciplinary Wives Club; it truly works: all the sexual anticipation of being punished—in this case, wife to husband, adult to adult, no little boy persona—instantly dissipates at the moment of orgasm, gone, poof, nothing but dread now in its place.   And there is plenty to dread: I must be in position when she comes upstairs—lying across the ottoman, underpants down, awaiting my punishment.  She sits on the edge of the bathtub, picks up one of the canes, begins discussing the lesson she’s about to administer, and then the whipping commences.  There is no way these punishments can be called “spankings”; they’re really whippings and it’s a good thing we live in a house and not an apartment—my cries are loud and full of anguish.  They last but a few minutes, but those few minutes seem like an eternity.  I’m reduced to pleading and begging, but to no avail until she’s satisfied the lesson has been learned, and the lesson does get learned, I assure you.  There have been very few times she has had to whip me for the same offense.  She has a list of rules, things I have to adhere to, or else, and the list keeps getting longer all the time.  Some of the things I have learned to obey are: treating others with respect, not allowing my anger to get the best of me, not being so impatient; not interrupting her while she’s on the telephone, or if we’re with others; not getting snippy because I didn’t like being told something; foul language; not being clear in my business writing, which has caused her extra work; forgetting, because of feeling rushed, to wash my hands after using the bathroom; driving in a manner she disapproves of; not getting my chores done in a timely manner; I could go further, but you get the idea.  Part of our disciplinary arrangement requires me to report any offenses committed not in her presence; which I adhere to 100%, no exceptions; I wouldn’t even think of not telling her that I had been “bad”.  The stricter she has become, the more I seem to love her.  I can’t get enough of her, Aunt Kay.  I’m so in love with her that I can’t think straight sometimes.  There is nothing on this earth I wouldn’t do for her, or anything she can’t have.  We have zero conflict, which is such a relief.  The best part is that she has made me a far better man than I could ever have hoped to be.  I like myself so much more these days, and I have her to thank for it.  My cup runneth over.  I’m sure this lifestyle isn’t for everyone; perhaps it isn’t even for the great majority; but it works for us and I’ve come to the conclusion that having one of the marriage partners—be it a man or a woman--have Absolute Control, with the power to spank/whip to enforce that Absolute Control, is the path to the Joy of Marriage.
So thank you a thousand times over for your wonderful website.  I hope someday I can say that in person and give you a huge hug to give tangible effect to my thank you.