Welcome to Kay's Personal Views

This area is a dedicated space/forum where I can occasionally share some of my personal philosophy, state how I see things are going with the DWC, or just vent if that feels appropriate to me.

President George Bush: A DWC Husband?

It has been a long time since I felt the need to publish anything new in my "Viewpoints" area. So much has happened in the last 18 months, especially the attacks on our country and the way the whole world has changed. Our president and leaders have told us that one of the most vital things for us to do is to return to living our lives as normally as possible and not give the terrorists the moral victory of keeping us frightened. Following the attacks I asked myself if it the DWC was just an indulgence or did continuing it really represent returning to living a normal life. I felt that I should continue because the DWC is symbolic to me of what a free country offers; the opportunity to express ourselves freely and enjoy our lives how ever we wish, so long as it does not harm others.

I am among many who were surprised and relieved by the way President Bush rose to the challenge against America. I appreciate the strength and leadership he has shown in responding to the aggression and rallying all of us during this crisis. I still have serious reservations about his policies regarding the environment and his relentless efforts to give yet more to Big Business. But, I am glad he is leading us at this point because the most important thing is to keep America secure by making it clear to would-be aggressors that there is a high price for it.

It was all this thinking about President Bush that led me to recall our experience with the last President, Clinton. As I compare them I find it difficult to imagine Bush being involved in sleazy sex scandals or conducting his home life in the way that Clinton did. I asked myself, "What was so different about these two men and their relationships?" The more I thought about it, the closer I got to developing the ideas I want to share with you now. I realized that there was a huge divergence in how they relate to women, and in the character and morality of their wives.

Right here in my personal Opinions section, before the Monica Lewinsky scandal, I wrote that Clinton needed a few trips to the woodshed. I was not joking, as you all know. Although we are not privy to what goes on behind closed doors, it is fairly obvious that Hilary was not able to bring the kind of moral and ethical discipline into Bill's life that he so badly needed. The potential for a really brilliant presidency was squandered because of just that.

However, let's put Bill Clinton out of the picture for now. It is George W. Bush and how the women in his life did have the strength and persistence to mold him into the man he is today. If you consider the George Bush Jr. story you will see a classic example of how a strong woman, his wife Laura, brought discipline, responsibility and ultimately great success into his life and their lives together. As I said before, we don't know what goes on behind closed doors, so I am not going to speculate that they are a DWC-oriented couple. But, I am certain from interviews I have seen that her discipline is the primary reason he is successful today.

GW has also shown his willingness to frequently rely on another very strong woman, Condoleezza Rice, his National Security Advisor, for guidance on matters critical to the security of our country. She is often described as the most powerful person in his cabinet and also his most trusted advisor. What I see in George W. Bush, politics aside, is an excellent model for a DWC husband. He is openly appreciative of his wife and her role in molding him. He is respectful of the contribution women can make, and he is a good father. He also clearly demonstrates that accepting the loving discipline of good women does not in any way diminish his manhood or his ability to lead the free world.

I have researched some media pieces about both Laura Bush and Condoleezza Rice and excerpted some statements that I think you will enjoy reading and also see how they clearly support my thoughts here.

CNN did a story they titled "Laura Bush: From Shy Texas Girl to First Lady". It was a nice biography and showed her as someone I think most of us would really like to know. She was a schoolteacher and I spent almost 10 years teaching the same grades as her. I will share some of the quotes I really liked.

People Magazine described her initial relationship with GW like this; " It was like Audrey Hepburn stepping into animal house."

They describe her as becoming "the emotional cornerstone to a political dynasty. She is unflappable in a family that is not known for it's calm" In a very telling statement, GW said of her when they first met, " I saw a elegant, beautiful woman who turned out not only to be elegant and beautiful but very smart and willing to put up with my rough edges. And I must confess she has smoothed them off over time." Laura then spoke up and said " Not all of them." She is still on the project, like all DWC wives!

Discussing her after their twin daughters were born, "Laura Bush became a fiercely protective mother, and she was just as watchful over her husband. She was concerned about his drinking. Alcohol had become a problem for George Bush, and Laura was determined to save him from himself. In 1986, she gave GW an ultimatum It's drinking or me". Again we see the kind of resolve a DWC wife has.

People Magazine also said " She is the steel in his back, she is a civilizing influence on him. I think that she has built him in many ways into the person he is today." That statement needs no elaboration from me.

Although I am focused here on the DWC-like aspect of her, I want you to know that there was a lot of emphasis on what a kind and humorous person she really is. Again, I think that is why most anyone would like her.

Now I will move on to the "other woman" in his life. I hope you like my pun, because in GW's life the other woman is an incredible person, tough as steel and a part of the family.

She was profiled in a CNN piece on February 2, 2002 as Condoleezza Rice: Bush's Policy Guru." Here are a few statements that may help set the picture of this woman. Regarding her position as National Security Advisor, "She is the first woman and second African American to hold this critical job. In one year on the job his 47 year-old foreign policy guru has proven she doesn't play second fiddle to anyone. She is also a close personal friend."

And here is one I love, because it does remind me of how I see so many DWC men react to the DWC women in their lives. " When she walks in a room, it's second only to when Laura walks in the room, because his body language is so relaxed with Condoleezza."

Ms. Rice has an incredibly impressive resume and I can't do it justice here, but you should know she was the Provost of Stanford University at the age of 38. She was the youngest in the schools history, the first woman and the first African American." They said, "Her style was sometimes considered brash and authoritarian, not in sync with the Stanford way." I can imagine how many of those esteemed intellectuals were at least figuratively taken to her woodshed.

The elder George Bush once told reporters that Rice was responsible for teaching him everything he knew about the Soviet Union.' So whether the men are younger or older doesn't matter when a woman knows how to be in charge.

She was also GW's tutor. Referring to his presidential campaign; " Officially she was the coordinator of his foreign policy team. Unofficially she was his tutor. GW knew that what he knew on foreign policy he had been taught by Condoleezza Rice."

GW said of her, " I trust her judgments. America will find that she is a wise person." What I like in this simple statement is that it expresses how most DWC husbands feel about their wives and the DWC women in their lives.

I hope you find this bit of information as interesting and motivating toward the DWC Lifestyle as I do. I frequently see examples of how strong women, who hold their men accountable, contribute to the good of Mankind. Keep your eyes open and you will begin to notice more and more of them too. And whenever you have a good example of a DWC success in life, please share it with the rest of us. That is what mutual support is all about.

Article Quote:

San Francisco Chronicle    Saturday, May 22,2004


"The advice about friends was one of the five suggestions, part whimsical and part reflective, that Bush offered.  The others: Be on time, be generous, don't practice moral relativism and, above all, "listen to your mother."

Our Community

I know it has been quite a while since I wrote a piece for my "Opinions" section. All I can say is it depends on when inspiration for a special message arrives.

I would like to discuss our Community. It has blossomed over the years within and because of the DWC. Within the DWC there is an extended family of people who truly care about one another. Our Community is the opposite of a message swapping board where people live out their fantasies, via e-mail, by pretending to be other than who they are.

Over the years, like any extended family, along with our joyful sharing and reaching out to one another, we have occasional disagreements and misunderstandings. We have had a few people leave for their own reasons, but overall we have been slowly growing larger and deeper. And we always keep the door open for our wandering members if they want to return.

Everyone in the DWC Community is either part of a real DWC couple, or a single who comes from a place of service and sincerity and shows an honest interest in others. We have gone far beyond being only a virtual community.

The DWC has survived and flourished because the Community has contributed. They have contributed again and again to keep the doors open and we are still here. I know you would be amazed to truly understand the extent of "hands-on" help we have had because I find it hard to believe myself. I will give you a few examples of how people have contributed to build our Community but, please keep in mind that so many people have done so much that I just cannot list it all here.

The most important contribution is the participation, the writing, the photos and suggestions that people send me to put on the website. I also consider each visit, each time someone comes and reads and benefits from our work a contribution. That might sound odd, but by receiving what is put out there, people really do contribute to the wholeness of the Community. We don't have to know, firsthand, every time someone gets something they need. I could update the Real People section almost daily, if I chose to. Each day I have meaningful communications with people and many of them continue the trend that is already there; relationships finding new depth, excitement and commitment.

Then there is the technology. Our Webmaster has maintained our web presence more as a "community service" than as a profitable activity. Some of you may recall what negative experiences we had with the original Webmaster and can especially appreciate what a blessing it is that we are still here. Recently a couple from the Midwest, came to the Bay Area for a visit and during that time completely upgraded the DWC hardware and software I am working on right now. I am referring not only to Windows but lots more. All this was as a gift to us for the DWC. Others have contributed elements for the website, like the strapping animation and some continue to work on designing new ideas for the future look of the DWC. Then there is our Video Producer. This man is part of a professional couple who are extremely busy yet find the time to work with us. Our second video is in production in progress and will be done sometime this year. This support too has been literally indispensable in terms of keeping the Community doors open.

There is the "Talent" who act in our videos. In both my first video and in the one in production, the stars are professionals. D'Arcy in Chicago is a ProDom and Dana in Carmel, the new video, is a professional Disciplinarian. They contribute their time and energy to make a DWC video because they are part of the Community. They believe so strongly in the meaningfulness of our message that they donate their time and ideas. The "bad boys" who are in these productions, and get a good licking for the world can see, are doing something really special. They are making it possible for hundreds of couples, who would never come out in public, to see and understand what the DWC lifestyle looks like in practice.

My "workshop elves" who produce the beautiful and original spanking implements I sell on the site are yet another example of Community members who make it happen. Making these implements is not a lucrative business; it is much more a sincere labor of love toward the DWC and for the spanking movement. I have in-depth discussions about the nuances of product design, I look at prototypes and we do research to really make the best products for our little store that we can. Some of these folks have, at times, been SO patient in waiting to be paid on invoices that I can only say that too is generosity beyond description.

The artist who created the beautiful and sensitive images that grace covers of our first publications, the Lifestyle Kit and Companion Guide, is a professional who is talented beyond what I can describe here. His work is another example of the Community spirit that makes up the DWC. He and his wife contributed so much in the way of time, and other resources.

I have even received money from people who wanted nothing in return. People who just had no other way to say "thank you" and felt that they wanted to put their feelings out that way. When that happens, I just shake my head, say thank you to an anonymous party, and feel so totally validated by the message that is embedded in the gift, not the dollars themselves.

Then there have been the really fun and touching gifts that have come over time. Many people have sent me the precious gift of a special implement. By special I mean things of sentimental value to them. I have hairbrushes and other such things that hold within them the "vibration" of a families genuine home discipline. These are treasures I can't put a value upon.

I've also received as gifts, unusual disciplinary items: such as an authentic crooked handle canes from England, Scottish tawses, and even an implement with an obnoxious origin, a Sambuka; used in S. Africa for crowd control. There is also an electronic "Wheel of Misfortune" made just for the DWC. There is a unique hardwood paddle from our friends in Scotland, cut in the shape of the wife's hand. My husband had already been the recipient of spanking from her during one of their visits here, so the "Hand" carries special meaning to him. One of our DWC men who could not attend the gathering sent gifts for everyone attending; hand made spanking sticks with gold DWC medallions on them. And of course there are the couples that live relatively close to us and offer help and support no matter what the occasion is.

All of this is but a fraction of what this Community has become. I say a fraction because I have not yet begun to talk about people meeting and forming bonds among themselves, about our being visited by people, by phone calls from around the world.

Each and every visit is special experience for me. My husband and I enjoy playing host and showing our visitors around the Bay Area. When we are out hiking or sightseeing or just all going to the movies we become more familiar and more relaxed with one another. It is a great pleasure to really know people who are part of the DWC Community first hand.

Often I will send the boys off to have some fun while I have my private time with the wife. These woman-to-woman visits are intensely personal and extremely important. Sometimes I think they are the main point of the visit. And other times, it is more about all of us as a foursome.

My husband and I are strongly focused on the quality of relationships. While we are all having a good time we are also observing the nuances of people's relationships and we make a point of giving honest feedback and guidance to them. My agenda when we have visitors is to affirm, and further empower the woman of the home as an effective disciplinarian. When you go out to dinner with two boys who have just been soundly spanked everything feels so special and we all have that gleam in our eyes that says, " Boy do we have a secret."

Parting with new friends, with whom we have established a real heart connection is not easy, at all. We get close and we stay close, keeping in contact and building our histories together over they years. Just the other day I received the cutest drawing from the daughter of our friends in Scotland. It was made for me when she saw a picture of my dog. I mention all this to illustrate how bonding our community can be.

I have heard, and confirmed, stories about DWC couples helping one another with everything from medical problems to fixing cars and computers. One man even offered to get an airplane ticket for another couple to attend an ailing parent when they could not afford it themselves. My dear DWC friends brought a "portable framing store" to California with them and custom framed several of my paintings. I love to paint, but framing is not my strong point. Now I can enjoy several of my pieces in proper matting and frames. It makes so much difference. Business relationships have developed and job leads shared. My husband is enthusiastic about helping people with their careers if he can. He is currently giving one of our good DWC friend's professional resume a professional facelift.

I will stop myself here because I am sure I have overdone making the point that the DWC Community is special, genuine, and made up of wonderful people. The last message I want to include in this addition of Kay's Viewpoints is this: You have to reach outside of your comfort zone to make new DWC friends. It is so worth the effort, even if you don't make the perfect connection the first or second time you meet new people, you will. Trust me. It was that way for us. Over time, and keeping up our faith in people, we have been blessed a hundred fold with fabulous friends. You can, and should, do this in your own area. Travel some if you have to, it is worth it.

My dear DWC Community, I hold you safely in my heart and wish you ever more

OTK 2000

The past few years have been an unbelievable education for me. I thought our lifestyle of Maternal Domestic discipline was a tiny, almost invisible, minority of married couples. Now I know, from first hand experience, that we are many and that we have a great deal to feel good about. In particular, I have found so much honesty, integrity, and plain old consideration from the vast majority of DWC couples, and sincere singles, that I prefer your company to "the world at large". Of course our shared interest is a big factor, but the quality of who you are is what really makes the big difference to me.

With the new millennium about to begin I find myself inspired to think bigger thoughts and dream bigger dreams. Having seen how valuable it is for us to meet in real life, and for friendships to evolve from our gatherings, I am working on ways to increase the opportunities for workshops and/or get togethers. Although these activities can be quite time consuming, and the logistics can be a headache, I sincerely believe it is worth while for me to help you meet one another.

I have a vision of a growing network of DWC couples around the world who will find more and more ways to get together, enjoy one another's company and ultimately strengthen and support the DWC Lifestyle. I wish for this unity for the amazing effect it has on the basic loving quality of marital relationships, not simply for the purpose of spanking those bad boys.

Your willingness to share in this dream has brought the DWC as far as it is now. I hope you will realize we are among the more enlightened and conscious people around. Our lives are a statement of the depth of trust, sharing and commitment in our relationships. The bonds of our individual relationships are strong.

For the New Millennium, that I call "OTK2000", my dream and vision is that we reach out, find more ways to get together and support the goodness intrinsic to our community. Resolve to participate in the community and reach out as part of your New Years goals.

Birthday Spankings

Oh how I hate it when another birthday comes rolling around. The middle of April is time for me to have another one. But I do always look forward to the birthday spanking. If you are thinking that it's the one time of the year that Jerry gets me over his knee, you are in dreamland. In my home, Jerry gets a spanking for both his birthday and for mine.

When I spank him for my birthday I have a great time. Since it is my birthday I feel even more free than usual to just indulge and enjoy myself! I seem to have a lot more fun on these occasions than he does <grin>.

He is really quite thoughtful about things like birthdays and anniversaries, but with the guaranteed spanking for my birthday he is even more conscientious.

So if you like my idea, please adopt it freely and institute it this year. Tell your naughty little man that he can look forward to two birthday spankings each year from now on.


Several weeks ago I received a letter from a man who was very polite (and condescending) who wrote to try to show me "the error of my ways". His basic message was that I had misinterpreted the natural order of things and that if I looked at the Bible passages he quoted to me, I would see that men were meant to rule the home (and I imagine by extension the world). I chose not to answer him, but I have been thinking about his letter. Rather than waste the time writing to him I will share my response with all of you.

Before I go on you need to remember that the DWC is not any kind of radical group of man-haters. We are healthy, very loving couples, who put lots of thought and energy into building our relationships. In fact, I believe that, as a group, we have a greater understanding and compassion for men, than the mainstream who just tolerates the degeneration of our society. What I have is a passion for humanity, equality, and a greater sanity and happiness in our lives.

This man who wrote to me is an example of "the kind face" that fundamentalists around the world use to suppress women. It appears to me that, in each society, these men figure out just how much they can push the agenda of suppressing women and most often use a religious justification to do it. The awful de-evolution being forced on Afghan women, the continuing mutilation of female African children, the general devaluation of Asian and Hispanic women, and the pitiful lack of rights for most Indian women tells the sad tale all to clearly.

Does this mean I am against organized religion? Not at all. Organized religion, worship of God, and following the moral and ethical values that are taught make us a better and stronger world. But, and this is a big one, it does not mean we should, under any circumstances, agree to, condone, or support, any part of organized religion that suppresses women. I am not Bible scholar and I am not trained to debate the fine points of anyone's scriptures, but I know it is wrong to harm women by limiting our potential and our rights.

I will point out, as I have before, that men control the political world. Less than 2% of the worlds nations are headed by women. The world is currently a hostile and war-like place. I do not believe it would be this bad with more balance between men and women leadership in world leadership. Further, if someone would care to research the national statistics about who is involved in child abuse and other violent acts against children and women in this country, I would like to know the answer. But again, I don't really need to know whether the child abusers are 95% men or 98% men, to see that something is very unhealthy in the male psyche.

Am I saying that men are intrinsically bad? Of course not. If you are among my personal friends you know that I love and enjoy the men in my life. I also enjoy giving them the good old fashioned discipline they need, but not as a way to express anger with men in general. My discipline is giving love, guidance and above all it is desired and requested by them.

If you have been part of the DWC for very long, you have noticed that we do not focus on relationships built around "male slavery", "feminization" or excessive humiliation. As a group we do what is necessary in the way of discipline to maintain happy, healthy, and above all, loving homes. We do not strive to "replace the oppressor by becoming the oppressor". Our goal is to help the men in our lives become the best men they can be, by answering their call for assistance.

So when "nice, kindly, fatherly figures," like the man who wrote to me about the "error of my ways" and how the Bible shows I am wrong, try to influence you, just turn them off. Whether they realize it or not, whether they are concealing an agenda of suppressing women or not, their message is harmful and anti-women. There is no true form of God, anywhere, who wants to see His/Her daughters diminished or limited in their life choices, let alone abused, mutilated, or killed. Guess who wrote the "Biblical" philosophies that "man is meant to rule". Another interesting question How many women happened to participate in the creation of all ancient, holy scriptures? And why do most churches fight tooth and nail to prevent women from gaining full equality in the religious orders?


Last week I read an article in the Palo Alto Times about Senator Bob Dole. He commented that with the way things were going in America we could look forward to a woman president in the near future and was giving away Elizabeth Dole campaign hats.

I thought about this and I believe that he is probably correct in his assessment. Not only is it time for a woman as President of the United States, but the time is coming. You, my readers, know that I basically do not side with any political party. I look at the people and the issues. Bob Dole always seemed like a basically good man and with what is now going on, it is tempting to say he would have been a better choice. But, for all of his obvious faults, Clinton still seems to care more for issues I value such as education, women's rights and the environment.

Elizabeth Dole is another story. She is strong, bright, and clearly has the same traditional values which most DWC women do have. She is her own woman and not like Barbara Bush. I look forward to a woman of her caliber running for the top job. Several years ago Geraldine Ferraro ran for Vice President. We are proud of her, she broke the ice, or the glass cieling, by running. Now, let's look for women, like Elizabeth Dole, to win and help turn this country in the right direction.

Football Season

Here comes THAT time of year again. Football season. It's a funny thing how many men get absorbed in that game. I never did like or understand it. But, you will be surprised to know that I do not really interfere with or forbid my husband that indulgence. Why? A couple of good reasons.

For one, I really do like and enjoy men and don't in any way have the goal of diminishing their "male energy". Control it? Absolutely. But I am not one who wishes to make my husband less masculine. So out of love for him I have always been tolerant of this "male thing". If he has things that need to get done, he must manage his time to get them done, or pay the consequences.

On the other hand, restricting his access to the football games is something I have used as a punishment. He loves those games so when I say "If this is not done or that behavior is seen again there will be no football next weekend" it works like a charm. So easy!

A couple of years ago we got into an argument during Christmas, it was something he felt rather strongly about since he is not prone to arguing much with me. We had company from back East so I couldn't give him the immediate licking he was earning by the second so I just whispered into his ear "One more word and it's no Super Bowl for you mister." That was all. Problem over, attitude back to sweetness, and he still got a real good haribrush session a couple of days later to make sure he remembered his lapse in manners.

So, don't forget the value of grounding, restriction of T.V. privileges and so forth, to compliment your DWC program. And when in doubt; spank the daylights out of him!

Cigarette Company Executives (and their cohorts)

I was reading an article about "Big Tobacco" in the newspaper and it talked about the multi-billion dollar settlement these companies were willing to make. Then my mind returned to a scene I remember from a few years ago where the CEO's of all of these companies were swearing before Congress, under oath, on the Bible, that they knew nothing about tobacco being addictive.

There is something very wrong with that picture! In my home, and most likely yours, lying with your hand on the Bible is pretty serious business. I know in many homes across this country that trip to the woodshed would never, ever be forgotten. So those are my latest examples of men who should be given not one, but many, frequent, hard spanking by their wives. Where do they come off causing malicious harm and lying about it?

Once again we have an example of where if a woman of good morals was truly in charge of the home, those boys would have found another way to do their business. Think about it. If these men had to explain their actions to their wives, and knew they would be accountable and would get their BADLY NEEDED discipline for such irresponsible behavior, we would again have a better society. Spare the rod and spoil the man! That is more accurate.

We of the DWC are certainly in the minority, but we are in the right, and by keeping our own men well mannered and behaved we do something good for everyone.

Solid Relationships

I often think about why DWC relationships seem so extraordinarily solid and committed. I always come up with the same answer. The energy that goes into providing conscious, effective discipline is a special gift from wife to husband.

Children who grow up with what they experience as "loving discipline" are usually better adjusted people and feel good about their parents. Reminder: I do not advocate the spanking of children. However, even when spanking has been used with children, if it is part of a fair and understanding program of support and guidance, it is not resented. Why? Because children recognize intuitively that they need the discipline and boundaries and in many ways it makes them feel safe and loved.

How does this relate to grown up men? The same way. Men are socialized to be "unafraid and to be controlling" as they do their thing in the everyday world. This denies them the chance to be "safe and protected" which the disciplinary arrangement provides. So, as a DWC wife your attention to his disciplinary needs create a strong bond of trust which goes beyond that which is in most ordinary relationships.

I think that is one of the things that makes the bond in DWC relationships so strong.

Always From a Place of Love,


DWC Philosophy

The DWC philosophy is rooted in a sincere belief that we, as women, must step up to the responsibility of providing the moral tone and discipline for the man in lives. After 6,000 years of men basically running this planet we are in such an unbelievable mess that it is undeniable that their way of "ruling" is an overall failure.

We come from a feminine place of intrinsic wisdom and in fact we do "know what's good for men", far more often than not. Would a world with women holding the power countenance war, starvation, neglect of children and business practices that wreak havock on third world countries? I don't think so.

Look at the Bill Clinton situation. I mean what I am about to say seriously, not tongue-in-cheek. If Hillary were in fact a true DWC wife, from the time Bill was running for governer of Arkansa, our country would not be wasting our precious resources on uncovering his very poor manners and behavior.

Think about it, if you can, from a non-partisan viewpoint. Bill and Hillary are probably pretty nice people and most likely would be nice to know as regular neighborhood people. Now if behind closed doors, Hillary enforced discipline on him, things absolutely would never have got to this state. NEVER!

Once or twice he would have been caught by her in their early years. As a dedicated and committed DWC wife she would not have run away in tears and left him, herself feeling disgraced and bitter. No way. She would have taken him to the woodshed for the licking of his life, big time. I mean I would almost feel sorry for any husband of a DWC wife who acted out that way.

Bill is a really intelligent man and he would have responded like all the other men in our club (and others we have not met yet). He would have been ever more dedicatd to Hillary and would not have continued his disgraceful acting out with other women.

Yes, sad to say our President is in desperate need of a major OTK session, but it won't happen. However, we, in our dedication to the DWC lifestyle really do make a contribution to improving things in the world because "every journey begins with the first step."

Always from a place of Love,


For further discussion, eMail Kay with your comments.

Aunt Kay